The Saturday Anime Update: 4 Great Anime Intros
- Tenjho Tenge -
Featured song: “Bomb A Head! V” by m.c.A·T
Based on the manga by a guy who thought that Oh! Great was a great idea for a pen name, Tenjho Tenge tells the story of some young asshole and his token black friend who go from school to school starting fights and forcibly taking control of the local student body. But when these meat heads arrive at Toudou Academy they quickly discover that this is where impossibly powerful human beings happen to flock to in order to practice and preserve martial arts. After getting rape stomped by a woman who can assume the form of a 5 year-old girl they decide to get more involved and end up making some friends. But the series’ main villain, the dreaded flashback, ain’t having none of that bullshit!
Why The Intro Is Great
This is one of the earliest intros my memory can serve up that offers an experience that is almost completely unrelated to the actual content of the show it was made for. Dominated by a catchy, up-beat hip-hop kind of song, the opening sequence only gives you a loose idea of what to expect from the show, vastly prefering to show the main characters dancing and having a really fucking good time over revealing anything about the show itself. And you can’t tell me that after hearing this you didn’t briefly take up hip-hop dancing only to “get served” shortly thereafter and return to your hole-in-the-ground bedroom to watch anime again and wallow in defeat.
Also note that the intro features the main characters literally leaping out from their source material. A bold move by Studio Madhouse, especially since they watered the series down so much that it only vaguely resembled the manga it was based on. At least it looks pretty damn cool.
- Cowboy Bebop -
Featured Song: “Tank!” by The Seatbelts
Bebop is one of those anime you only have to mention before your peers nod their heads in knowing acknowledgment. Everything about the 1998 series was fantastic, from the character-driven plot to the astonishly good soundtrack. Basically, if I have to explain anything about this series to you then you need to shut off this computer right now and cause yourself bodily harm to make up for your damaging ignorance. Seriously, close the toilet seat on your dick no less than 5 times before you come back.
Why The Intro Is Great
This 1 minute and 30 seconds did more to introduce young people to jazz and big band than anything else in the universe since they went out of style days after they were invented. Featuring a song written and compose by Yoko Kanno, the same genius who handled the Macross Plus soundtrack, the intro to Bebop made retards dance and overly serious folk tap their feet. The animation that accompanied it could have depicted a man clubbing adorable baby bald eagles for all the viewership cared, all they wanted was to hear that goddamn song over and over again!
- xxxHolic -
Featured song: “19sai” by Shikao Suga
Everyone believes in some supernatural crap for no good reason. I, for one, am convinced that there’s a tiny horse with man-arms in my closet writing down everything I say and presenting the log of my private ramblings to the writers for Saturday Night Live via his telepathic iPod. xxxHolic takes common supernatural rumor and myth and presents them matter-of-factly, providing a setting and context for things like creepy internet addictions and the power of words (you can’t unread the words “midget sex”, for example). Yuuko, her cleavage, and her man servant Watanuki explore hidden realms beyond our understanding, often leaving Watanuki flabbergasted and up to his elbows in his own urine from fright.
Why The Intro Is Great
The theme song for the show is what otaku would fuck to had they ever the opportunity to make pornography. The tune is this leathery smooth R&B number, guaranteeing that you’ll think of sex at least once during the opening sequence. You sick loli assholes probably held out until around 1:14 when the loli action is not-so-subtlely implied when two youngin’s start inspecting each other’s mouths with their mouths, probably looking for cold sores.
The intro, or the series for that matter, isn’t a hallmark of animation. But the intro does communicate the theme of the show well enough while offering brief glimpses of the many characters you meet, including those little crazy assholes on the flying surf boards who attack Watanuki for no good reason to fill the slap-stick quota every other episode.
- Berserk -
Featured Song: “Tell Me Why” by PENPALS
Like Bebop, I shouldn’t have to say a word about this classic. But in case you’re a young upstart who can’t see passed the dated animation you need only know this: Berserk is anime’s answer to the cry for more blood, more gore, and to somehow wrap it up in a compelling plot with subtle philosophical undertones, specifically cause and effect. Yes, this is violence with a brain. You just have to split open the skull first to get at it.
Seriously, watch it if you haven’t already. Right fucking now!
Why The Intro Is Great
This opening is great because it’s so astonishingly bad. The song grates on your nerves thanks to some awful guitar playing and a singer who sounds like he’s hanging upside down and trying to keep from throwing up. The animation doesn’t offer anything substantial either. There are several instances where the animation studio just throws in random portraits for the pure fuck of it since they apparently can’t be bothered to animate anything. Berserk is an old son of a bitch of an anime, I’ll grant, and it’s based on quite possibly the greatest manga ever drawn. But the intro has that B-horror movie appeal, being so very bad that it’s actually pretty awesome.
Leave a Reply