Naoie’s Thursday Update: Anime Relationships: Fantasy vs Reality
The problem with anime relationships is… they’re often extremely unrealistic. Which is sad because there are many impressionable teens watching anime these days. Given that the vast majority of them are naive or just simply retarded doesn’t help the matter. So I’ll use prime examples of why you shouldn’t rely on anime for relationship tips.
1. Girls are NOT that accident prone
What do I mean by this? Well, if you watch as much drama anime as I do… you see a certain trend. First being that the girl always ends up falling or tripping… or getting into some weird ass accident. It was used heavily in Itazura na Kiss… which is unrealistic and that doesn’t actually happen in real life. If you ever watch another girl (you sick stalker you) in real life, you’ll notice quickly that they’re pretty nimble and pretty aware of their surroundings. In anime, girls are either
A) Fairly retarded
B) Physically inadequate
C) Both
If the girls in Japan are anything like their anime counterparts, I almost feel sorry for Japan as a whole.
2. Girls are NOT that oblivious to your feelings
In all seriousness, girls in real life are not oblivious to your feelings. In fact, most of the time, they’re either too scared to respond or bring it up to themselves because they’re not sure of how you feel entirely… or they really just don’t see you that way. Which in most cases… is just that, they don’t see you in that way. Sad, isn’t it?
So stop being a pansy and just say “Hey, *insert girl name here*, *insert dramatic story*, *insert love story*, *insert asking out story*”. You’ll be surprised how far you get and how fast you get a “yes” or a “no”.
3. Friends of said girl are generally NOT that helpful
You see it in anime a lot too, having the friend cheer for the main girl. This sometimes happen in real life, but it happens in a different way. See, they do cheer for the main girl… just they don’t tell them stuff like, “You should give him another chance!” or “He’s actually this way and that”. No… no… no… no… it’s more like this: “Yeah, he’s a jerk.”, “I don’t see what you see in him.”, “I think he’s gay.”
Anime friends = Helpful
Real life friends = Not helpful
So if you were in a good relationship and your girl broke up with you, there is close to no way in hell that you guys are going to work out or get back together.
So now, you’ve read my take on Fantasy vs Reality. I give to you, two anime’s you should watch so you can compare and contrast.
Itazura na Kiss
This anime is the most fantasy in a relationship you can get. The way it starts out is pretty ridiculous as well. Why should you watch this? Simply for the sake of knowing what doesn’t happen in reality. For the first episode, you’ll get a glimpse of how retarded this can actually be:
Main girl’s likes said main guy. She writes him a love letter and she is turned down before he even reads it. Then her house collapses and by a weird twist of fate, her father’s friend is said main guy. She ends up living with him and thus begins their life of fantasy.
NOT REAL. DOES NOT HAPPEN. DON’T BELIEVE IT.
Bokura ga Ita
The reason why you should watch this anime is because it’s as real as a relationsihp can get. Said main girl is starting high school and she ends up meeting said main guy. She hates him and doesn’t understand why all the girls are infatuated with him. However, said main guy ends up growing on her and she ends up liking him too. She questions her feelings and eventually, said main guy asks her out after fighting himself over his fears which he hasn’t fully overcome. That being said, his fears are not what most anime guys are about: Scared of being with a girl. It’s much more realistic and complicated.
The only thing that I must warn you about is… the ending is fairly retarded because thats only the halfway point of the manga. So go read the manga.
THIS IS PLAUSIBLE. GROW A PAIR. ASK YOUR DREAM GIRL OUT.
Finally, lets talk about extreme fantasy.
Your computer is not your lover. (Chobits)
It’s cool that computers can be as attractive as a lot of girls in Chobits. However, I think it’s fairly sad if that was the case. Who on earth would pick a robot over a cute girl like Yumi? I have no idea and if you were EVER put in a situation where you could have sex with a real girl versus a robot… please, for the love of god… for the sake of humanity’s dignity, pick the real girl.
Your AI will never be that smart. (A.I. Love You)
If you’re a game programmer and you chat with a girl that you made up. Please go kill yourself. A freak accident with lightning will not materialize that girl and unfortunately, she is only as smart as you make her out to be. If you programmed her to be highly retarded and she became real, do everyone a favor and remove yourself from the gene pool, thanks.
You will never be in a situation where you are surrounded by beautiful women, all the time. (Negima, Ai Yori Aoshi, Love Hina, Girls Bravo)
If you live in a situation where you’re surrounded by beautiful women all the time, good for you. In fact, if you manage to pull that off… I commend you. However, this will never happen. You will not find your dream girl like this. Your chances of having this happen is close to 0. You’re better off being gay and sent to an all girl’s school in some weird freak paper work accident.
BIRR RUMBELGH!!!!!!