Naoie’s Thursday Update: 5 Anime Girls You Hentai Searched For

This list is in no particular order. I was told to list more than 5 because there are a lot, but I decided to keep it down to 5 for continuity sake on UAL and simply because writing about more than that would mean I have to list close to every Anime Girl out there.

The way these girls are selected is based on the difficulty in finding them in a hentai setting and ultimately, how many of those images and doujinshi’s I could find and how many views those had (which were in the thousands, by the way… meaning thousands of closet perverts or one closet pervert who couldn’t get enough). I also considered the timing of the Anime itself and how old we may have been.

We can’t deny that porn is a billion dollar industry and hentai being porn… there is a lot of it to be found. Of course, we all have our celebrity hotties… and you probably did the Britney Spears search once upon a time. Unfortunately, it wasn’t everything we wanted now that we got it… but then again, we can’t find our other favorite celebrities such as Jessica Alba or even Megan Fox in the mix. What better way to get our porn fix than our cartoon heroes?

Whether they are … not even of age, sexy robots or aliens… if they have a cute face, boobs and possibly what could be female parts, it’s all fair game to the common male, possibly female, otaku’s.

Which leads be to one of the first girls that I decided to list. She’s a heroine of an Anime that opened our hearts when we were young and eventually, it became cool to hate on. She’s fairly young with short red / orange hair and a side pony-tail. She has three hot older sisters and she is a great swimmer. I give you none other than…

Pokemon: Misty

At one point in time, you watched Pokemon. For many of you, Pokemon was a gateway Anime and it introduced you to other Anime. She has her undeniable charm is the little red head that got your heart pumping. Whether it was her looks, her age or even the fact she has a flat chest… you guys can’t deny that you’ve hentai-searched Misty at one point in time. For many of you guys who were reaching puberty, you fulfilled that wet-dream with a box of tissue and your favorite browser pointed at google. Some of you, I have to say… in the sense of lolicon and beastiality (seriously), you people are sick.

If Misty wasn’t enough for you… (and she probably wasn’t), we move forward in time to when the next big thing hit. If you were an Anime fan, you’ll most likely hear a lot about this one in particular. It was considered the Holy Grail of Anime itself. This next girl, is again… a red head. She’s german, she got a slim body and she has even appeared nude a few times in the series itself. Fortunately, she has more of a chest and she is in a very… very… tight outfit for a good portion of the series. I introduce to you…

Evangelion: Asuka

I applaud some of you for getting out of lolicon mode and actually taking an interest in a girl who is a little older. Yes, she does have a chest. Not much to speak of… but it’s still more than what Misty has. Her personality is pretty fierce and her talk on thermal temperature using her boobs as an example can get anyone a little excited. Asuka is another one of those “wet dream” girls. You know what I’m talking about. That crust at the end of your sock can speak for itself.

Which leads us to the next girl who has been hentai-searched. It’s a little eerie to say that currently, in the real world… we are close to having sex robots. I guess sex is sex… as sickening as that could be. This little cutie is a blonde. She was abandoned and then found, naked. Unfortunately for her, she has no memories of herself and she can only say one word. I give you…

Chobits: Chii

You can’t mention a list like this without having Chii on there. Chii is by far, probably the most searched girl on the internet. You know it, I know it… and the rest of the guys on the internet knows it. With her absolute innocence and charm… and working as a stripper at one point, what wouldn’t stop you from going to the dark side? If not seeing her half naked in the Anime wasn’t enough… or even some of the more visual display in the Manga didn’t do it for you… those Doujinshi’s probably did. For a robot… or … a walking PC… Chii is pretty damn cute.

Now, let’s remind ourselves that Chii is a mechanical being. So let’s move away from this disturbing revelation and get to our next girl. She has long pink hair. Her voice is charming… given that (this will give it away) she is voiced by none other than Japan’s cutie, Tanaka Rei. She sings and she has a strong presence in the political arena. Who else would I be talking about? I’m talking about…

Gundam Seed: Lucas Clyne

Now, this is a little more acceptable. Given the disturbing last three girls I mentioned… who weren’t of age and one not even being human, Lucas Clyne is another one of those girls you’ve hentai-searched for. Given that everything about her is pretty close to perfect, who wouldn’t have done the great unloader because of her? She has a cute face for an Anime girl, and for some of you, the pink hair is a plus. Not only is she voiced by Tanaka Rei who only makes Lucas just so much more attractive, she is one powerful talker. She is the ideal candidate for anyone who needs to have a quick five minutes at the computer.

Finally, we’re at the last one. You guys excited to find out who it is? If so… then uh… don’t go off blowing that load just yet. This one is a brunette. She has a hairstyle for every day of the week, up until someone noticed and she said “fuck it” to her hair. She’s rather crazy and pushy. Not only that, she is what people would call “god”. I give you the one of the most hentai-searched girl of modern Anime:

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya: Haruhi

Do I need to explain this one?
She literally strips a time traveler along with herself and paraded around school grounds in a playboy bunny outfit. Given that she is the one in command, who wouldn’t want to be her slave? For you guys out there, you’ve single-handedly (possibly with your left hand) made Haruhi one of the most hentai-searched girl on the web. I can’t really say what would give her the edge over everyone else but I guess it must be the fact that she has undeniable power and you just want to be her bitch.

Because I couldn’t possibly deny these Anime girls their time in the light, I give you..

Honorable Mentions:
Love Hina: Naru, Shinobu
Naruto: Sakura
Bleach: Rukia
Sailor Moon: Mercury, Venus, Moon, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto
Card Captor Sakura: Sakura
Macross Frontier: Sheryl, Ranka

Now that I probably have caused some of you to get aroused by the posted images, make sure you have lots of lotion and tissue. Afterwards, please take a cold shower and realize, you just jerked off to imaginary girls who don’t exist. So please, do us a favor, find a girlfriend.

~ by Naoie on July 10, 2008.